Michelle Sherman, a Cabrini Mission Corps missioner shares some insights into her spiritual journey.

When you were initially considering a volunteer experience what drew you to Cabrini Mission Corps and the Missionary Sisters?

I think that one of the defining factors that drew me to CMC was the sense of identity and spiritual fulfillment that was expressed by those involved in the program. I spoke with former missioners and those that worked at the mission sites I was interested in. Furthermore, they seemed so REAL—they didn’t try to sugar-coat their experiences, but also said that within their challenges, they saw how God worked through those tough times. They also seemed so present and so interested in me and how my interests were related to the mission opportunities.

Additionally, I feel that the application process drew me closer to the program because of its intensity and deep questions. Many of the questions I took to prayer and had to discern how God was speaking through them. The Holy Spirit was, without a doubt in my mind, moving through the phone conversations I had with people from my mission site, former missioners, and the director. It’s clear from the application that Cabrini Mission Corps is for people who are looking to seriously deepen their spiritual lives.

What have you learned about community, prayer and mission as a result of your time with the MSCs?

Community: Community life is not just limited to the people that you live with. I interpret it to also mean the people that you desire to spend time with, even if they don’t share the same roof with you.

At their CMC commissioning, Michelle (l.) Dora Canales (c.) and Anne Carpentier (r.) are all smiles.

My immediate community is small- I live with a religious sister and a volunteer from another program, Sr. Deanna, CND and Jenny. Although we may have come with different goals and visions of the Church, we’re still all Church!

Furthermore, community life is not just limited to the people that you live with. I interpret it to also mean the people that you desire to spend time with, even if they don¡_t share the same roof with you. So, the CMCs that I do not live with still are part of my community, and we make it a point to get together, keep in touch, and call during the week.

Prayer: Without it, I wouldn’t be able to function. It’s as simple as that.

Life as a missioner is busy, busy, busy! Working at Mother Cabrini High School as a campus minister and teacher, visiting with multiple communities, being involved in my parish, keeping in touch with family and friends, exploring the city, taking advantage of young adult programs, and making sure I get enough sleep… whew! I’m getting tired just writing about it! I realized after the first month or so that spending time with God one-on-one needed to be a priority. It was (and sometimes still is!) a struggle to make boundaries when I see everything on my To Do List, but setting aside that time for “God and Michelle time” is absolutely necessary. At one point, I tried to squeeze in prayer at the very end of my day, but would fall asleep because I was so exhausted and run-down. Even when I began to get more involved in events and young adult groups that seemed like they would help, ironically, they became part of that busyness! So, I am still learning and will continue to learn the value of balance and boundaries. Because present in those days full of activities is the yearning for a stillness and peace that only quiet time with our Maker can provide.

From left:  Sr. Sharon Casey, MSC, Michelle Sherman, Provincial Councilor Sr. Diane Olmstead, MSC and Mother Cabrini High School Campus Minister Jayne Pickett take time out at a conference to pose for a photo.

Mission: Mission changes every day—and that’s what’s so exciting, challenging, scary, and rewarding, all in one! Each day at my mission site brings new challenges and blessings. Sometimes challenges include not stressing over small things, getting along with people and their interpersonal politics, and adjusting to the ever-changing schedules. Other days, it may be witnessing student leaders helping at a retreat, laughing and playing games in the cafeteria, and learning from other faculty and staff. My experience has taught me how it’s necessary to be flexible, understanding, and open, no matter what images the word “mission” brings to mind.

How have your Cabrini experiences deepened your relationship with God and God's people?

I’ve realized that in our faith lives, we are not divided into groups of “the converted” and “the unconverted.” We are the convert-ing! And since we are in a constant state of conversion, we must be willing to accept each other’s imperfections and idiosyncrasies, no matter how odd they may seem to us. If I truly believe that Jesus offered the Kingdom of God to robbers, murderers, and outcasts, then I surely can accept and love those around me, no matter how I may struggle to like them at times.

Going along with that, working with people means working with imperfect creations—and that’s the beauty of it! As much as I hate admitting that I’m not perfect, there’s so much freedom in admitting that although I look like I have it all under control, I’m sometimes clueless. The funny thing is, I’m often more willing to accept the flaws in others than I am in myself. I have a stand on my desk in the Campus Ministry Center that says, “Give yourself the permission to make mistakes.” Ironically, by deepening my relationship with others, I have begun to accept my own insecurities and vulnerability. Hence, in growing closer to God’s people, I’m learning to accept myself and who God created me to be. Two words: Praise God.

I’ve realized that the teens I minister to have brought me closer to God in their questioning of life and faith. At a conference where I presented a workshop with Jayne Pickett, Campus Minister at Mother Cabrini High School, one of the teens motioned to a quote we had on the wall. It read: “I’m in love with you.” – God. He asked, “Miss, did God really say that?” I was struck by two points about this young man’s question. Firstly, he asked “did God really say that?” not “does God really say that.” He used past tense, not present. Indeed, God did say that, and DOES continue to say it: everyday to everyone in different ways. Secondly, it struck me that so many of us (myself included) sometimes doubt that God really loves us. Why is this? I believe this year has brought me close to that answer: We don’t accept ourselves as our Creator does.

Mother Cabrini High School Campus Minister Jayne Pickett and CMC Missioner Michelle Sherman recently served as presenters at the Youth Congress of the Archdiocese of New York.

I think one of the greatest blessings this year has been finding my current spiritual director. She is an amazing woman of the Lord who is able to see through my incessant talking in circles and (at times) nervous responses. She will sometimes interrupt with questions that cut into the heart of the matter with a direct, yet extremely gentle and loving spirit. At our last meeting, she asked in her very particular way, the question, “Michelle, who is God to you?” I stopped, thought about the question, and then burst into tears. I knew what I should say, I knew what the typical answer should be from a campus minister, I knew what the appropriate response from a volunteer could be, I even knew a few answers that would seem witty and clever. However, as I sat there, I realized that none of these responses would be from ME! Furthermore, I am trying to weed out all should’s, would’s, and could’s out of my vocabulary. I was so frustrated with myself! I thought, “If I don’t know the answer to this simple question, then what in the world am I doing in ministry?!” For the past two weeks, I have been searching, reading, and journaling like none other. It almost became like a puzzle – I HAD to figure it out. There simply had to be an answer. I continued to work—but that was my problem. I was working on this question, rather than letting the answer come in the pace of grace—God’s time. Well, long story short, within writing the answers to these questions, I had an epiphany—right now in my life, God’s love for me is most clear in my relationship with God as Creator. It all fell into place: I often feel the need for acceptance, based on my past experience and the current ways I deal with situations. However, the Creator has always known my limitations, shortcomings, talents, and passions—and I will never have to prove myself because I am already accepted. In writing how I am learning to love the flaws and imperfections of others, I realized the importance of embracing my own—in effect, accepting myself as the creation I am!

How do you discern the call of God in your life?

I think the process of discernment is different for everyone. I have learned that it is easy for me to hear the voice of God through conversations with others, my own journaling, and through my emotions. I discerned to join CMC though a long process—many conversations with friends and family that know me inside and out, with former CMC missioners, and current employees. Through journaling, I have seen how God speaks through my thoughts and musings, even though it may take me a while to discover where these somewhat haphazard thoughts come from, they ultimately lead me closer to him. Lastly, I know that when I experience emotions—happiness, sorrow, embarrassment, fear, nervousness, joy, peace—I experience them with intensity. Hearing another’s story of pain or sorrow will often drive me to tears myself. Likewise, if I am experiencing a moment of great joy, I will also tear up or laugh hysterically, followed closely by an urge to hug as many people as possible. For the longest time, I would try to hide tears; I was ashamed and thought people may think I couldn’t control myself. However, along with accepting myself as the creation that I am, I can see how God speaks though my emotions. How I feel in the presence of another or in a certain place allows me to discern where God is calling me.

From left: Michelle accompanied Mother Cabrini High School students Prissly, Yomayra and Arlyn and Jennifer Lennon an Archdiocesan teaching volunteer to the March for Life in Washington, DC.

What advice would you have for others who are seeking their particular path in life?

Be honest. You know when you were younger (in your teens) and your mother or father would ask, “How are you?” If you were like me, perhaps you would grumble “Fine,” when clearly things were not fine—life was confusing, busy, hormonal, and stressful. Honesty with ourselves and God is crucial to seeking our paths in life.

Just four days ago, I finished a book called Becoming Who You Are, by James Martin, SJ. It’s a short book, a reflection on the writings and lives of Merton, Nouwen, and others. As a fan of Merton and Martin, I savored every page. Essentially, Martin addresses Merton’s perceptions of the self. (I have a feeling this is on its way to becoming a book report, so I won’t spoil the ending! J ) Basically, I mention this because the title alone inspired me in another way to accept myself as the creation that I am. It’s not "Become the Better You!" or "10 Steps to Become Who You Always Wanted to Be"—it shows the importance of embracing and loving who you are, at this present moment, passions, flaws, and gifts included!

It’s so easy to compare, to see how others and their relationships with God may seem to be perfect—their prayer life seems great, they know where they’re going and what they’re doing, and to top it off, they’re admired by all. However, what’s the use in comparing? God’s not going to ask us, “Why weren’t you more like so-and-so?” Instead, God encourages us, saying, “I created you to be perfect in my eyes. Embrace the YOU that will bring you closer to me. I know that it can be scary, but don’t be afraid, I’m here.” In exploring our own paths in this adventure, being honest with who we are means acknowledging our passions and desires in life and pursuing them. God places loves and desires in our hearts and invites us to live them fully.

AMEN!

Michelle, (r.) accompanies MCHS students during the recent Stress Relief Retreat.

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