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There is a close relationship between good habits and virtues, between bad habits and vices. Since grace always builds on nature, good human habits are the precursors to virtue. The New Catechism of the Catholic Church defines virtue “as a habitual and firm disposition to do the good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts, but to give the best of himself or herself.” Therefore, it is helpful to us, both humanly and spiritually, to reflect on and become more conscious and deliberate about our habits, whether those of speaking or acting, choosing or relating. Each of us probably has more than a thousand habits, large and small, but since we so often take them for granted, we don’t think about them and often are not even aware of them.

By becoming conscious of our habits, we can evaluate them, decide if they are to our advantage or disadvantage, take control of them (instead of them taking control of us) and eventually decide if we need/want to change a particular habit or not. For example, I may not even be aware of my habit of speaking to certain kinds of people in a harsh, rude or demeaning way. Is this the way I want to be? Is this “giving the best of myself?” Or I may have the habit of deciding impulsively, not taking time to weigh the consequences of my actions. Of course I may not even be aware of this habit unless I develop the corresponding good habit of reflecting on my life, my behavior, where I am going and what kind of person God wants me to be. So habits -- good and bad, mature and immature--are essential building blocks of my life and well worth the effort to reflect on them.

If I discover that I have a less than desirable habit and I want to make a serious effort to change it, what can I do? The following suggestions might prove helpful:

a. First of all, I should thank God that He has brought me to this new awareness in my life which is already a positive step forward (even if I don’t like what I see in myself).

b. Secondly, I should remember that God knew about this less-than-desirable habit of mine way before I did--and He still loves me and gives me the grace to change.

c. To change my unfortunate habit, I need to practice two virtues--the first is hope and the second is courage.

•• Hope that with the aid of His grace and help, I can change and not remain stuck in my old pattern of behavior. He is the one who has begun this change in me and He will see it to the end.

•• Courage because change is always difficult and I can easily become discouraged. I may hear “negative voices” in my head (another mental habit) that discourage me from moving ahead in this journey of love, truth and freedom. “No, you can’t change, so don’t even try.” Or when I try and fail, the voice that says “See, I told you it wouldn’t work!!!”

d. I need to remember that according to Ignatian discernment of spirits, the good spirit can be recognized by an inner voice that gives me “courage and energy” not to give up and to keep on trying. The evil spirit is the source of the voice that says “What did I tell you! I knew it wouldn’t work!”

e. Finally, in our efforts to change habits and grow in virtue, it is often helpful to:

•• talk to a trusted advisor who can help us gain another perspective to see more than we could by ourselves. This same person may also help us become more hopeful and courageous in our journey;

•• record our struggles and successes in a journal which will help us strengthen the good habit of reflection;

•• beg the Lord’s grace daily in prayer and scripture reading, and through the frequent reception of the Eucharist and the sacrament of reconciliation. Growing in good habits and in virtue will not rob us of enjoyment and pleasure. Rather, in the long run, it will help us live happier and more satisfied lives in the light of the gospel. As the great theologian Bernard Haring reminds us:

Virtue is a form of competence that enables us to grasp the melody of life as a whole and to arrive at that basic option for good that brings all our thoughts, desires and actions to maturity. (Virtues of an Authentic Life). May our growth in good habits and virtues enable us to sing that melody of life with gratitude in our discerning hearts.